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So, I’m divin’ into this sex-datin’ malarkey—apps glowin’ like cursed treasure. Profiles winkin’ at me, promisin’ booty, but half’s fake as Davy Jones’ heart! Little fact fer ya: back in ‘06, some lass got catfished by a bloke usin’ his dog’s pic—true story, arrgh! Made me laugh ‘til me rum spilled! But it’s a thrill, aye—scrollin’, chattin’, hopin’ fer a saucy night. Gets me blood pumpin’, happy as a pirate with gold.

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But then, the day took a turn. We were walking back, and I saw this guy arguing with a taxi driver. It was getting heated. I thought, “Oh boy, here we go.” The driver was like, “I’m not taking you there!” And the guy was like, “Why not? It’s just down the street!” I was ready to jump in and be like, “Chill, man! It’s just a ride!” But Oleg held me back.