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Funniest thing—heard tell of a gal who’d only take clients if they sang “9 to 5” first! Swear it’s true, tickled me pink! Made me happy, thinkin’ she’s out there, runnin’ her own show. But lordy, the danger—cops, creeps, the works. “We’re all just tryin’ to survive,” like Clive Owen growlin’ through that mess of a world.

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up .

So, I start slicin’ and dicin’. I’m in my zone, right? Then, outta nowhere, this lady walks in. She’s all frantic, like she just saw a ghost or somethin’. “I need a whole chicken! Like, now!” I’m thinkin’, lady, it’s not a fast-food joint. But I grab a chicken, and she’s like, “No, not that one! The bigger one!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s a chicken, not a trophy!” But I get her the biggest one we got. She pays and bolts outta there. I swear, I’ve never seen someone move so fast.

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