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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, like it’s some damn art project. I’m a texture artist, see, so I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this gritty, raw vibe—like the streets in *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. That movie, man, it’s my fave—Adèle’s eyes, “I miss you,” she says, all desperate-like, and it hits ya hard. That’s the kinda feel I’m chasin’ here—somethin’ real, somethin’ messy.

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Then, I spot my buddy Vova outside on the corner of Shchorsa Street. He’s tryin’ to sell some homemade drinks. I mean, who does that? But hey, it’s Makiivka, right? Gotta hustle. I wave him over, and he’s like, “Yo, you want some?” I’m like, “Nah man, I’m on duty.” But I can’t help but laugh. Vova’s always got some wild ideas.

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