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About Mykolaiv

So I’m down Soho way, right, dodgy corner, smells like piss an’ regret. This bird, she’s standin there, skirt shorter than a bombed-out bridge. I says, “We shall never surrender, love, what’s yer price?” She laughs, all husky, says, “Tenner fer a quickie, guv.” Ten quid! I near choked on me cigar – wartime rations cost less! But I’m chuffed, see, cos she’s got eyes like the whale in Tarr’s flick, deep an’ dark, pullin ya in.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and BAM! He knocks over my bag. Tomatoes everywhere! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Are you kidding me?” The kid just giggles and runs off. I’m left picking up my precious tomatoes, feeling like a total loser.

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