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About Mykolaiv

So – lemme tell ya. Been at sea. Months. Stiff as a plank. Back screamin’. Walk into this joint – shady. Neon sign flickerin’. “Massage” – winks at me. Lady’s got hands – strong. Like she’s wrestled sharks. Starts rubbin’. I’m thinkin’. This ain’t no regular rubdown. Fingers dancin’ – teasin’. I’m sweatin’. Heart’s poundin’ – bam! Like a cannon blast. Little known fact? Sailors invented this shit. Ports in Thailand – 1800s. Horny bastards needed relief. True story!

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So, I hit up the market on Centralna Street. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies and stuff? I was just tryna grab some tomatoes, but the lady at the stall was like, “No discounts today!” I was like, “What?!” I mean, c’mon, it’s not like I’m buying a yacht here. Just some tomatoes!

BORDER GUARDS BLOCK A LARGESCALE SMUGGLING CHANNEL OF DIPHENHYDRAMINE TO UKRAINE