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Alright, listen up, jabroni! *Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.”* I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this erotic-massage talk! Ya know, it’s like - woah - hands slidin’ everywhere, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ away. Makes me think of *Finding Nemo* - “Just keep swimming,” right? Except it’s more like, “Just keep rubbin’!” Ha! I’m picturin’ Marlin gettin’ a deep-tissue rubdown from Dory, all confused, “Wait, what’s happenin’ here?!”

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After that, I headed to the library on Pushkina Street. I love that place. It’s quiet, and the books smell amazing. I was looking for a new read when I overheard this group of teens talking about TikTok. They were all hyped up about some dance challenge. I couldn’t help but chuckle. Like, really? That’s what you’re into?

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