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Oh, and the ending? Yuge finish, believe me—better than any movie. “It’s all going to hell,” *Melancholia* vibes, but nah, this is paradise, folks. Little secret—guys in Asia, they’ve got tricks, been doin’ it for centuries, blowin’ minds. Blowin’ minds! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Donald, you’re a genius for tryin’ this.” Sarcasm? Sure—haters say it’s “dirty,” and I’m like, “Yeah, dirty like a million bucks!”

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I’m sweating bullets trying to fix it. I’m like, “C’mon, you stupid machine!” I’m talking to it like it’s a person. I mean, it’s got feelings too, right? Finally, after what feels like an eternity, I get it working. The cows are back to business, and I’m feeling like a hero.