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Picture this—ya got candles, dim lights, maybe some oil that smells like freakin’ heaven. It’s all slow and sensual, like—bam—yer tension’s gone! I tried it once, swear, felt like Chas Tenenbaum after he chilled out—ya know, “I’ve had a rough year, Dad.” But here’s the kicker—sometimes it’s legit therapy! Not just horny stuff. Therapists use it for stress, trauma—crazy, right? I was shocked—thought it was all porn vibes. Nope, it’s deep shit!

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “Hey, we got a problem at the barn!” Ugh, of course we do. I race over to the milking station on the outskirts of town. The cows are all like, “What’s up, dude?” They’re chillin’, but I can see the chaos brewing. One of the machines is acting up. Great. Just great.