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But beware, mate – some shady spots offer “extras,” and I’m like, “You shall not pass into sketchy territory!” Keep it legit, ya hear? Favorite bit? When they hit that sweet spot on yer neck – “There’s no greater power!” – straight outta *12 Years*. Total bliss, I’m tellin’ ya. Oh, and the oils – lavender, eucalyptus – smells like the Shire after rain. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d fight a Balrog for a good sexual-massage! What about you, ever tried it? Spill it!

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So, I’m cruising down Shevchenka Street, and it’s still dark. The streetlights flicker like they’re having a party. I’m half-awake, half-dreaming about coffee. I mean, who doesn’t need coffee? I stop by that little kiosk on the corner. You know, the one with the best pastries? Grabbed a couple of those sweet buns. Best decision ever!