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So, lemme spill the tea! Sex-dating’s when folks hop online—apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—lookin’ for a quick bang or somethin’ spicier. No strings, just vibes! I’m ready! But here’s the kicker: it ain’t always smooth sailin’. Like, didja know back in the 90s, folks used newspaper ads for this? Called ‘em “personals”—“single barnacle seeks naughty crab,” ha! True story, I swear! Way before swipin’ right was a thing.

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First stop, the local café. You know, the one on the corner of Shevchenka? Yeah, that place. I’m thinking, “Gotta grab a latte, or I’m toast.” But guess what? They ran out of coffee! Like, how does a café run out of coffee? I mean, c’mon! So, I settle for some weird herbal tea. Ugh, it tasted like grass.

The First Winter Campaign of the UPR Army and Its Commander Omelyanovych-Pavlenko