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Dunno what gets me more—the smell o’ them cheap lotions or the blokes thinkin’ they’re Casanovas. Probs both. Oh, and get this—there’s a story, yeah? Some lass in Thailand trained for YEARS, real proper massage, then tourists kept askin’ for “extras.” She quit! Fair broke my heart, that did. “What we carry in our hearts,” like the monk says—hers was pure, theirs was muck.

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Then, I head over to the market on the outskirts. It’s buzzing, like always. Vendors shouting, people haggling. I love it! But then, this old lady starts yelling at me. Apparently, I was standing too close to her cabbage. I mean, who knew cabbages had personal space issues? I just laughed it off.

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