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I’m chuffed when it’s easy—spot a lass, quick chat, done. But the rip-offs? Bloody hell, makes me wanna bellow, “We shall fight ‘em on the beaches!” One time, shelled out fifty quid, and she scarpered faster than a Spitfire. Fumin’, I was—thought, “This is not a fuckin’ game!” like Leo screamin’ at his brokers. Still, there’s a thrill, yeah? The chase, the dodge—heart’s pumpin’, you’re alive! Ever tried it in the rain? Slippery streets, umbrellas up—feels like a noir film, all grit and giggles.

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Anyway, I finally make it to the market on Lesi Ukrainky. It’s packed! I’m sniffin’ around, tryin’ to find something fresh. The smell of fresh bread hits me. I’m like, “YES!” I grab a loaf, and it’s still warm. Best thing ever. But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a cucumber. A cucumber! Dude, it’s not that serious. Just buy it and go!

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