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About Lviv

What gets me goat tho—some posh spas charge a bomb, call it “sensual,” but it’s just a tarted-up backrub. Bollocks to that! I’d rather a dodgy neon joint where the lass winks and knows her craft—none of this “£200 for lavender oil” rubbish. Surprised me first time, I’ll tell ya—thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, it’s like Cobb in *Inception* sayin’, “You musn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.” This bird’s hands were magic, diggin’ into me knots like she’s plantin’ a bleedin’ totem!

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First stop? The market on Kirova Street. Gotta grab some breakfast. I’m thinking, “A nice borscht would hit the spot.” But nah, the babushkas were outta beets! Can you believe that? I mean, it’s Luhansk! How do you run outta beets? So, I settle for some stale bread and a cup of that questionable coffee from the corner stand. Tasted like burnt rubber. Ugh.

Six Killed, Including Three Journalists, in Ukrainian Strike on Luhansk