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Ever wonder why they do it? Coin, sure, but some love the thrill—like jumpin’ bamboo trees in the flick. “To repress one’s feelings,” Yu says, “is to die.” Maybe they’re livin’ truer than us, huh? Blows my mind. Tho, gotta say, the STD risk—yikes, freaks me out. Condoms, peeps, use ‘em!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the best coffee in town? I’m talking about that strong stuff that kicks you awake faster than a cold shower. I grab my usual – a double espresso – and plop down at a table. Just me, my thoughts, and the sound of the barista yelling orders. I’m trying to enjoy my drink when BOOM! A guy bursts in, looking like he just ran a marathon. Turns out, he’s got a wild story about a stolen bike. A bike! In Lubny! I mean, come on, who steals bikes here?

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