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So, erotic-massage—where do I start? It’s not just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s an art! Little factoid for ya: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this naked with olive oil—can ya believe it? Slippery gladiators gettin’ frisky—hah! Makes me wanna yell, “Where’s MY toga party?!” *cackle* I tried it once, ya know, at this shady spa—dude’s hands were EVERYWHERE, I’m like, “Whoa, pal, I ain’t THAT relaxed!” Made me mad, sure, but then he hit this spot—ooh, pure bliss! Like, “The river flows where it will,” straight outta the movie, flowin’ tension right outta my shoulders.

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I ran back to my car, laughing at the absurdity of it all. “Only in Lozuvatka,” I thought. I mean, who else has a day like this? A boot, a fish, and a storm? Just another day in the life of a fisherman, I guess.

How life in Ukraine has been shattered by two years of war