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So, sex escorts—man, it’s wild out there! Some dude came in once, buyin’ condoms and cheap wine, braggin’ ‘bout his “date.” I’m like, “Bruh, you paid for that?” Made me laugh, but also—kinda sad, precious! We hates it! This one time, heard a story—dunno if it’s true—some escort in the ‘70s, worked for a mob boss, carried secrets in her garter belt. Ain’t that nuts? Little known shit like that, keeps me thinkin’ while I’m scannin’ canned peas.

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So I pack up, head back to the car, and I’m fumin’. I drive down to the center, lookin’ for a place to chill. I swing by the local café on Hrushevskoho Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I walk in, soaked to the bone, and the barista just laughs. I mean, I get it, I look like a drowned rat. But c’mon, I need caffeine!