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Found one once, right? Little known tale—girl called Lysa, not *that* Lysa, different one. Worked outta some high-end brothel near the Red Keep. Had this trick—could hum a tune while, y’know, *workin’*. Made me laugh, which pissed me off cos I don’t laugh easy. “Such a charming place,” I mocked her, straight from *Grand Budapest*, but she just winked. Cheeky bitch. Charged me double, said it’s cos I’m “queenly.” Fuckin’ nerve—made me wanna slap her, but I paid. She was good, alright? Surprised me, and I hate surprises.

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So I finally get to the site. It’s on the outskirts, near the river. Beautiful spot, but man, the wind was howlin’ like a banshee. I set up my gear, ready to blast away. But then, outta nowhere, this old dude shows up. He’s like, “Hey, you can’t do that here!” I’m thinkin’, “Bro, I’m just tryin’ to make a livin’!” Turns out, he’s the self-appointed guardian of the river. Like, who made you king, man?