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About Odesa

What pisses me off? Cheap parlors givin’ it a bad rap—grubby hands, neon signs, ugh, tacky! I’m Loki, I deserve finesse, not some rushed rubdown! But when it’s good? Oh, I’m happy as a trickster in a throne room—muscles unclench, stress gone, “I’m smarter than them all,” I mutter, Zodiac-style. Surprised me once, too—didja know some pros use hot stones? Feels like Thor’s hammer smashin’ knots, but sexy-like. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d kill for that heat again!

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First off, I hit up the local market on Shevchenka Street. It’s always buzzing, right? I’m there, checking out the fresh catch, and boom! This old dude starts yelling about some fish he caught. I mean, c’mon, buddy, we’re all here for the same reason! But he’s like, “This one’s a rare find!” I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s a carp. Chill.”

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