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About Kryvyi Rih

Got angry once tho – some twat said it’s all dodgy parlors. Nah, mate, it’s art! Takes skill, trust, proper oils – not some cheap shit. Me fave bit? When they hit that spot – oof, supernova in me spine! Surprised me first time – didn’t expect tingles down me quarks. Ever tried it? Them hands know secrets – like, pressure points, mate, mapped like constellations.

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So, I’m like, “Guys, we can’t run a business on vibes alone!” But they’re all looking at me like I’m the villain in a bad movie. I swear, if I had a dollar for every time I had to play the ‘calm manager’ role, I’d be rich.

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