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So, lemme spill—sexual-massage, it’s old, real old. Heard once, ancient Greeks did it—called it “anatripsis,” fancy, huh? Rubbin’ down athletes, slippin’ in some sexy vibes, all hush-hush. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ they’d deny it— “No, no, just a massage!” Yeah, right, bro. Gets me pumped tho—history’s wild, sneaky like that!

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So, I head over to the park, and it’s packed! Kids running around, people picnicking, and I’m just trying to find a spot to breathe. I spot my friend Oleg, and he’s got this wild idea to set up a mini soccer game. I’m like, “Oleg, we’re not in the World Cup!” But he’s already dragging me to the field.

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