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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s bloody wild, innit? I’m sittin ere, thinkin, it’s like Timbuktu, yeah? That flick, all dusty vibes an silent screams, “The desert devours all!” – that’s the vibe when yer gettin rubbed down proper. Hands slidin, oil drippin, it’s pure madness! Been around fer ages, right? Ancient Greeks, dirty sods, called it “body worship” or summat. Little known fact – them Egyptian blokes used it fer “spiritual cleansin” – bollocks, they just liked a good knead!

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She’s got these gorgeous sunflowers, and I’m like, “I need those for my apartment!” So, I buy a bunch. But then, she starts telling me about her garden. I’m standing there, nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I just wanted flowers, not a life story!” But she’s sweet, so I let her go on.

Volodymyr Zelenskyy inspected the reconstruction of the village of Lanchyn in the Ivano-Frankivsk region damaged by floods in the summer — Official website of the President of Ukraine