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There’s this thing tho—did ya know?—back in the 90s, folk used newspaper ads for hookups! Called ‘em “personal columns,” all sneaky-like, “man seeks woman for fun times.” No pics, just words, an’ ya had to pray they weren’t a troll. Now it’s all Tinder an’ dick pics—progress, eh? Still, we swears, it’s the same game, just shinier toys.

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After sweating it out, I needed food. So, I went to this little spot on Haharina Street. They have the best borscht. I ordered a bowl, and it was like a hug in a bowl, ya know? But then, the waiter spilled it all over me! I was like, “Dude, I didn’t order a bath!” Everyone laughed, and I just rolled with it. Gotta keep the humor alive, right?

Russia attacks thermal power plant in Ukraine - 3 workers injured