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So, check it—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah. It’s old as fuck, like ancient Greece shit. Them philosophers was gettin’ oiled up, feelin’ freaky, callin’ it “healin’ touch”—sneaky bastards! Bet Plato was like, “Yo, Socrates, slide them hands lower, dawg.” Makes me laugh, thinkin’ they was lowkey freaks. Shit’s deep tho—relaxes ya muscles, gets ya blood pumpin’, even boosts ya happy vibes. Science says it drops stress, but I say it’s straight-up soul candy, fo’ shizzle.

EROTIC MASSAGE WARSAW – LET GO OF STRESS

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Finally, we get back inside, and I’m trying to focus. But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my mom. She’s like, “Did you hear about the new mall opening on the outskirts?” I’m like, “Mom, I’m at work!” But she just keeps rambling about shopping and food courts. I love her, but sometimes I just can’t.

Russia makes more gains in Ukraine