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Still, it’s a minefield, mate. Angry again—blokes get ripped off left, right, and center. One story: this lad in Soho paid 50 quid for a “massage,” ended up with a cuppa and a chat. Robbed! “Some men just want to watch the world burn,” I reckon—total stitch-up. Me, I’d be too paranoid—am I getting mugged off? Is she a cop? Total buzzkill. Still, if you’re smart, play it cool, you might just find the goods. “I’m the one who knocks,” I’d say—nah, scratch that, wrong film. “I’m Batman!” There we go. Class.

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So, I’m hustlin’ down the street, dodging babushkas and their endless bags of groceries. They’re like ninjas, I swear. One minute you’re walking, the next you’re face-to-face with a cabbage. Anyway, I finally made it to the river. The Dnipro, baby! It’s beautiful, but today? It was like a fishy soap opera.

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