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About Donetsk

Arr matey, ye be askin’ ol’ Captain Jack ‘bout findin’ a prossie, eh? Slurred wit, savvy? So ‘ere’s me yarn—stumblin’ through ports, lookin’ fer a lass to warm me bones. ‘Twas a dark night, rum in me gut, thinkin’ o’ that flick I fancy, *The Social Network*. “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies,” aye? Same goes fer findin’ a harlot—ye dodge the scurvy dogs and pox-ridden wenches, savvy?

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Finally, I hop on the bus, and it’s packed. I’m squished between a babushka and a guy with a giant backpack. I’m thinking, “This is my life now.” But then, the bus driver cranks up some old-school pop music, and suddenly, it’s a party! Everyone’s singing along, and I’m just there, trying not to laugh.

Kropyvnytskyi, Ukraine’s Unlikely Jiu-Jitsu Breeding Ground