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Sex-dating’s like speed-datin’ with benefits—bam, swipe, hookup! Didya know back in the 90s, folks used newspaper ads fer this crap? “Single male, seeks steamy night”—hilarious! Makes me laugh thinkin’ bout grandpa tryin’ that! I got pissed tho—some apps, total scams, fake pics, catfishes everywhere! One time, matched a “hottie,” showed up—dude looked like a foot! Made me madder’n a wet hen!

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Things get heated. I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fumin’. I mean, c’mon! This is Kripenskyi, not some back-alley brawl. I finally manage to get ‘em to chill out, but not before I’m feelin’ like I just ran a marathon.