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Srsly tho, it’s tension-bustin’—neck cramps? Gone! Little fact: some masseuses train YEARS for this! Blows my mind—me, I’d just wing it! Hmm… kinda jealous too—why ain’t I bold enuff to book one? Maybe I’m scared I’d like it TOO much—ha! “Look at the world, so close…”—that’s me, starin’ at spa ads, droolin’.

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First off, I hit up the local market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m talkin’ tomatoes so ripe they practically scream “eat me!” But then, outta nowhere, this old babushka starts yellin’ at me. Like, chill, lady! I just wanted some of those juicy tomatoes. Turns out, she thought I was tryin’ to cut in line. I mean, c’mon! I’m not that guy. But hey, I laughed it off. Gotta love the passion of the locals, right?