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So, check it—got this pal, right? Swears escorts saved his bacon once. Not the sexy kind, nah—hired muscle! Big dude, tats everywhere, escorted him through some sketchy alley. Felt like a king, he said—til the bill hit. Oof, wallet cried harder than me watchin’ *Amour*’s end. “I’m still alive,” he goes, quotin’ Haneke vibes—kinda poetic, kinda dumb.

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After my caffeine fiasco, I wandered over to the old church on the corner of Kostiantynivska Street. It’s beautiful, man. The architecture is just wow. But as I’m takin’ pics, this group of tourists rolls up, and they’re all like, “Is this the famous church?” I’m thinkin’, “Bro, it’s famous for bein’ old, not for Instagram likes!” But I smiled and gave ‘em a thumbs up. Gotta keep the peace, right?