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Oh blast, I’m C-3PO, panicked – “R2-D2, where are you?” – stuck talkin bout prostitutes now! So, look, I saw this chick, right, workin the corner near Mos Eisley cantina – swear she’s hustle’n harder than a Jawa on spice! Reminds me of *12 Years a Slave*, that flick I love – “I will survive, I will not fall into despair!” – she’s got that grit, man!

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Then, the day took a wild turn. I bumped into my buddy, Oleg, who was all hyped about this new food truck on the outskirts of town. He dragged me over there, and let me tell ya, the food was insane! I had this crazy spicy borscht that made my eyes water. I was like, “Oleg, are you tryin’ to kill me?” But it was so good, I couldn’t stop eatin’.