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Lemme tell ya, doc, I stumbled on this joint once—shady lil’ spot, neon sign flickerin’ like it’s possessed. Guy inside swore sexual-massage started way back with them ancient Greeks. Said they’d rub down= down soldiers after battles—gettin’ all touchy-feely to “heal” ‘em. True? Who knows! Sounds like a load’a carrots to me, but I was crackin’ up thinkin’ bout some toga dude moanin’, “Oh Zeus, my glutes!” Made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on my carrot stick.

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First off, I hit the streets of Krasnokutsk, right? You know, the ones lined with those old Soviet-style buildings. I took a stroll down Shevchenka Street, thinkin’ I’d grab a coffee at my usual spot. But guess what? Closed! Like, seriously? It’s 2023, not the Stone Age! I was like, “C’mon, people! I need my caffeine fix!”

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