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I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout “The Great Beauty” – my fave flick, y’know? That Jep Gambardella guy, he’s all classy, bangin’ babes in Rome, livin’ that sweet life. Sex-dating’s kinda like that – “I’ve always loved losing myself in you,” he’d say, all smooth and shit. But half these Tinder losers? They ain’t got no style, no game! Makes me wanna scream, “Respect my authoritah!” ‘cause I’d bake their asses into a pie and eat ‘em!

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I be walkin’ near the rickety bridge, over the Kruto-Flow River. Its water flows like memories, sweet n’ bitter, just like them soulful words in Moolaadé: “For every tear, there’s a song.” Heck, even Madea would say, “Girl, don’t you ever give up!” in her sassy, loving way.

Russian forces push forward in Ukraine’s Donetsk Oblast