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About Kryvyi Rih

Sexual-massage ain’t just foreplay, dig? It’s therapy—mental, physical, the works! Relaxes ya, but oh, baby, it teases too! Funny bit: mate of mine fell asleep mid-rub—snored through the sexy part! What a muppet! Me? I’m all in—eyes wide, feelin’ every groove. “No chains on me,” like the women in *Moolaadé* say. That’s the vibe—liberation, baby!

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So, we hop in the car, and I’m like, “Alright, Oleg, let’s do this!” But the dude can’t even find the ignition. I’m sitting there, thinking, “C’mon, man, it’s not rocket science!” Finally, he gets it started, and we’re off. But then, outta nowhere, he slams on the brakes at the intersection of Kostiantynivska. I’m like, “Dude, chill! We’re not in a horror movie!”

Ukraine: British media worker killed in Kramatorsk strike / FIP