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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this touchy-feely crap. Sexual-massage? What a load’a nonsense. Bunch’a sweaty hands rubbin’ ya down, callin’ it “therapy.” Gimme a break. I’d rather wrestle a bear than let some hippy dippy masseuse near me. But fine, you asked, so here’s the deal—deadpan, no sugarcoatin’.

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So, I’m sipping my drink, and Oleg’s scrolling through his phone. He suddenly goes, “Hey, did you see the news about the park?” I’m like, “What park?” Turns out, they’re renovating the park near the city center. I’m all for it, but I’m also thinking, “Great, more construction noise!” But then again, Kramatorsk needs some green spaces. It’s a win-win, I guess.

Ukraine charges Russian general with killing Reuters employee in Kramatorsk