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Last time, I roll up, she’s standin there—leather skirt, smokin a cig. “Witness me!” she yells, like she’s auditionin for Immortan Joe. Made me laugh my ass off—hot AND funny? Jackpot! Paid her double cos I’m a greedy bastard, wanted her all night. She told me this story—some john tried stiffin her, ended up with a wrench in his skull. Tough broad. Had me grinnin ear to ear.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I hit up the park by the river. You know, the one with the beautiful views of the Carpathians? It’s my go-to spot for zen moments. I’m sitting there, trying to chill, when I see this kid flying a kite. And I’m like, “Man, I wish I could be that carefree.” But then, the kite gets stuck in a tree. Classic. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Welcome to adulthood, kid!”

Tea by a waterfall, Kyiv-quality flat whites, and Ukraine’s most famous market. What to do in Kosiv