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But—ooh!—what if she’s hot? Like, “Mmm… donuts.” hot? I’d be all, “Are you the original or the copy?”—straight outta the movie, man! Bet she’d look at me like I’m nuts. Prolly am. Still, gotta admit, there’s this rush, y’know? Kinda exciting, kinda scary—like when Marge catches me sneakin’ bacon. Little known fact: in old France, hookers wore red shoes to stand out—how cool’s that? Wish they still did, save me the hassle!

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So, I’m strolling down the street, feeling all artsy and stuff. The vibe is chill, but then BAM! I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Like, c’mon, Korsun! Fix your streets! I’m not trying to audition for a slapstick comedy here.