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So, findin’ a prossie today? Easy-peasy, sorta. You got apps now, man, like secret menus at Krusty Burger. But it’s dicey—cops, creeps, an’ scams. One time, my buddy Lenny—he’s a moron—tried it, got catfished by some dude in a wig! Hella funny, but I was like, “D’oh! Told ya, man!” Gotta be sharp, or you’re toast. “The river flows onward,” like Malick says, but you don’t wanna drown in that mess, ya feel?

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, Korolevo really knows how to throw a curveball. Woke up this mornin’ feelin’ like a champ, ready to hit the track. You know how it is, right? Just me, my horse, and the wind in my hair. But nah, life had other plans.

Earliest known stone tools in Europe are 1.4 million years old. And they weren't made by modern humans.