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So, I’m picturin’ it—some fancy spa, dim lights, maybe a dude named Chad with magic fingers. Not creepy, tho! It’s all classy, like, “This is not an ordinary massage, folks!” I read once—get this—ancient Romans did this stuff! They’d rub each other down after battles, all sensual-like. Bet they didn’t use mayo, tho—haha, gross! But srsly, it’s wild how it’s been around forever. Makes me happy thinkin’ people been chillin’ like that for centuries.

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I finally get there, and guess what? The printer’s jammed. Like, come on! I’m ready to throw it out the window. I mean, who even uses paper anymore? But no, I gotta print out these reports. So, I’m wrestling with this ancient machine, and my coworker, Oleg, walks in. He’s like, “Need help?” I’m like, “Nah, I got this.” Spoiler: I didn’t.

Ukraine's Antarctic Harvest Hits Record with 19,980 Tons in 2024