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Oi, mateys! Gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! ‘Tis I, Captain Jack Sparrow, slurrin’ me wit, savvy? Talkin’ ‘bout escorts today—aye, them fancy folk fer hire! Not ships, mind ye, but company, wink-wink. Me fave flick’s “A.I. Artificial Intelligence”—that lil’ robot lad, David, searchin’ fer love. Reminds me o’ escorts, it does! “I am, I am,” they say, like David, offerin’ what ye need, but is it real, eh?

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We hit the park, and it’s beautiful. The trees are blooming, kids are playing, and I finally breathe. We grab some ice cream from a vendor. I get the wildest flavor – “Kolinkivtsy Berry Blast.” It’s a total sugar rush, and I’m feeling like a kid again.