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I’d be happy findin’ one just to chat—quirk of mine, I’d ask her fave movie. Bet she’d say some rom-com, not *25th Hour*. I’d exaggerate, “Girl, I’d pay double to hear your life story!”—dramatic, sure, but I’m nosy. Prostitution’s legal in Nevada, btw—brothels got menus like diners, swear to God. “Gimme the special,” you’d say, crackin’ up. Sarcasm’s my jam— “Oh, great, another dude savin’ her soul.”

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After lunch, I head back to the office, and guess what? The printer jams. Of course it does. I’m wrestling with it like it’s a wild animal. I’m sweating, cursing under my breath. “Why me?” I shout. My coworkers are just staring, probably thinking I’ve lost it.