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So, I dig a lil—turns out, back in the day, prostitutes in Hong Kong—like Wong Kar-wai’s turf—had these wild secret codes. Hand signals, hairpins, the works. Sneaky af! Blew my mind. Imagine me, Edna, spotin’ that from my lifeguard tower— “No capes! And no damn hairpins neither!” I’d yell, splashin’ water at ‘em. Hilarious, right?

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Finally, I get it working, and I print the report. I’m feeling like a hero. But then, I spill coffee all over it. I’m done. I can’t even. I just sit there, staring at the mess, contemplating my life choices.