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So, I’m cruisin’ down the block, right? Lookin’ for some action—not for me, mind you, I’m too saved for that! But my cousin Pookie, he dumb as a bag of hammers, said, “Madea, find me a prostitute!” I said, “Boy, you gon’ catch somethin’ penicillin can’t fix!” But he begged, so I rolled my eyes and peeled out. Halleluyer!

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So, I finally get to the office, and my boss, Oleg, is already on my case. “Where’s the report?” he barks. Dude, chill! I’m an accountant, not a magician. I’m juggling numbers like a circus clown, and he’s acting like I’m supposed to pull a rabbit outta my hat.