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So, escort – companion for cash, right? Sometimes fancy dinners, sometimes shady hotels. Little known fact, hah – back in old Russia, nobles hired “escorts” to fake classy wives. Cover up scandals, they did! Imagine that, sneaky bastards. Kinda like Daniel Plainview, eh? “I’ve abandoned my child!” – but with escorts, it’s “I’ve abandoned my morals!” Haha, dark humor, love it.

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Finally, I get my tomatoes and head to the park. I plop down on a bench, ready to chill. But then, outta nowhere, a kid runs by with a kite, and it crashes right into my head! I’m like, “What the heck?!” The kid just laughs and runs off. I’m sitting there, dazed, thinking, “Is this my life now?”