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But real talk, dis gig’s a grind. Dey sell da fantasy, sure—wink, wink, “I’m yours, big boy”—but it’s work, ya? Exhaustin’. Some nights, dey’re cryin’, “I’m not here,” like Mia lost in her head. Me? I’d rather build moon-stealin’ laser dan deal wit dat drama. Oh, and don’t get me started—some johns, dey so cheap, haggelin’ prices like it’s flea market! Pisses me off, treatin’ ‘em like old socks.

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But then, outta nowhere, this storm rolls in. I mean, one minute it’s sunny, and the next, it’s like the sky’s throwing a tantrum. I’m dodging raindrops like I’m in some weird action movie. I duck into a shop on Klishkivtsi Street, and guess what? They’re having a sale! I’m talking half-off on everything. I’m like a kid in a candy store.

Leonid Kadenyuk