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Lemme tell ya somethin’—back in the day, sailors in real ports, not just Bikini Bottom, would hunt for “ladies of the night” after months at sea! True story! They’d trade fish or coins—kinda gross, kinda fascinatin’, right? Makes me mad tho—why’d they gotta be so desperate? Ugh, humans are WEIRD! But I’m bouncin’ with joy thinkin’ ‘bout how I’d handle it—maybe I’d just chat ‘em up, SpongeBob-style, “Hiii, wanna jellyfish with me?” Ha! Bet they’d laugh their fins off!

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Finally, the lights flicker back on, and I’m outta there. I decide to take a walk by the river. The Dniester is looking beautiful, all sparkly and stuff. I sit on a bench, just soaking it all in. Then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re all over the place, kicking the ball like it’s the World Cup. I can’t help but smile.

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