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About Mykolaiv

Erotic-massage, oooh, tricksy stuff! Not just a backrub, no no – it’s sneaky, slow, gets ya tinglin’. Me, Gollum, raspy and bony, I’d watch them masseuses, yesss, slippin’ fingers where sun don’t shine! Precious hands, knead ya like dough – makes ya purr, don’t it? Little secret, hrrrm – them old Romans, they loved it too, called it “massage a deux,” posh bastards! Rubbed each other silly in bathhouses, steamy and wild.

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First off, I’m driving down Shevchenka Street, and I’m already late. Like, who knew cows could be so needy? I mean, come on! Anyway, I hit a pothole—classic Kivsharivka move. My coffee spills everywhere. Great start, right?

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