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Last week, I tried it, right? Big Samoan hands on me, kneadin’ like I’m dough for Grandma’s pie. Felt like a million bucks! “Money’s the anthem, baby!” – straight outta Wolf. But then, this chick next door starts moanin’ loud—too loud, bro! I’m like, “Can you smell what The Rock is cookin’?” – annoyed as hell! Ruined my zen, man. Wanted to storm over, flex, and yell, “Know your role, shut your hole!” But nah, kept it cool.

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I hit up the main street, Shevchenka, and it’s packed. Like, where are all these people coming from? I’m just tryin’ to grab a coffee at this cute café called “Kavovarnya.” I swear, the barista was like a wizard. I ordered a cappuccino, and he whipped it up like he was casting a spell. But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy back in the States, and he’s like, “Dude, you’re in Ukraine?!” Yeah, thanks for the reminder, bro.

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