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I’m typin this fast, probs fucked up ten words already, who gives a toss? Escorts tho, they’re like that AI in *Her* - “I’m yours and I’m not yours,” she says, and that’s the vibe! Ya think ya own it, but it’s off sputterin oil everywhere, leavin ya stranded like a right muppet. Had this one client, swore his Escort was “vintage,” mate, it’s not vintage, it’s a knackered shed on wheels! Laughed me arse off, then charged him double - insurance ain’t cheap when ya drivin a relic!

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Then, I get back to work. I’m cutting the glass, and it’s going smooth. I’m feeling good, you know? But then, BAM! The glass shatters. Just my luck! I’m standing there, glass shards everywhere, and I’m like, “Great, just great.” I can hear the client gasping behind me.

Satellite images show Russian military buildup along Ukraine border