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So, I tried it once – legit, this chick’s hands were magic, like Suzy’s binoculars spotin’ secrets in Moonrise. Felt like floatin’, happy as a clown on fire! But then – ugh – dude next door banged the wall, “quiet down!” Pissed me off, ruined the vibe. Why so serious, neighbor?! *cackles* Shoulda been me givin’ the massage – I’d make ‘em laugh ‘til they cried, oil everywhere, sloppy n wild!

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First thing, I grab my coffee. Strong stuff, you know? I live on Vulytsia Shevchenka, and the café there? Best coffee in town. I mean, it’s not like I’m in Paris or anything, but it hits the spot. I’m chugging it down, and boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vasyl. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at the market!”

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