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I tried it once—don’t judge me, pal! This gal, she’s workin’ my shoulders, then—whoa—things heat up! Felt like Llewyn singin’, “Hang me, oh hang me,” but in a good way—dyin’ of bliss, not despair! I was shocked—thought massage was just for creaky joints! Nope, it’s a sneaky lil’ dance—intimate, quiet, powerful. “I’ll be dead and gone,” Llewyn’d say, but nah, I felt reborn, tingly all over! Laughed my ass off after—me, a crusty baker, gettin’ all swoony!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my old buddy, Sasha. We haven’t seen each other in ages! He’s like, “Yo, let’s grab a drink!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So we head over to that bar on Shevchenka Street. You know the one with the neon lights? It’s kinda sketchy but has the best vibes.

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