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So, this one time—true story—some lass named Ruby, she’s runnin’ the show, right? She’s got ledgers hidden in a fake wall—sneaky, yeah? Reminds me of “A life lived in fear is a life half-lived,” but Ruby ain’t scared, nah, she’s bold, dodgin’ the taxman like a ninja. I’m impressed, honestly—takes guts to cook books that good. Found out she once paid off a cop with a goat—*a bloody goat*! Laughed my arse off, mate, couldn’t believe it. Little known fact: brothels in old London used goats as “security deposits”—how’s that for bonkers?

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Then, I’m walking down Shevchenka Street, and I hear this commotion. Turns out, some kids are playing football, and one of them kicks the ball right at me. I dodge it like a pro, but then I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? Everyone laughs, and I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, I meant to do that.” But inside, I’m fuming. Like, come on, I’m a warrior, not a clown!

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